scary

i like the things that have scared me: diving, snowboarding, teaching high school and going to work with CpC. here's hoping i have lots of scary days ahead.

still trying

so.....way back when, the title of this blog came from me sitting in a convention, trying to look interested. in an attempt to not lose my mind i wrote "try to pay attention" ,on what was probably a very important handout, about 100 times.

i was a bridesmaid last weekend for my cousin Heather, it was my grand finale as a bridesmaid, a final performance. during the rehearsal, the commissioner nicely, but firmly said to me "Heidi, try to pay attention". it caught me off guard because i thought i actually had been. in my head i thought, lady , I've been in enough weddings to know the drill. walk slow, walk slower, hold flowers at your waist, look up ( not at the flowers ), fix the wedding dress, smile, sign papers, look up again, still standing,still smiling, still looking at: the back of the bride, front of groom, the commissioner, the crowd and definitely not the flowers. and....finally walking out....after the happy couple.

i didn't need to pay attention, this one i got.

no title

my 45 second commute, and yes i drive, takes me past a new subdivision. tonight, in the comfortable darkness, i saw houses becoming homes. the lit up rooms filled with sawhorses, 2 x 4's, chop saws and, extensions cords made me smile. that happiness warmed me up.

there are 2 things that i love to do. build houses and create cakes. they are similiar. you take your pile of ingredients, a basic plan, ideas to figure stuff out and then you create.

give me a cement mixer, a kitchen aid mixer, hammer, oven, flour, insulation, cocoa, hurricane ties and bucket of nails and i'm a happy girl. i long to create and do. it makes me feel alive.